We feel ya, Pete.

"Corporate hostage" (his words, not mine) Pete S. sent in this illustration. He said he realized after reading the entry on graphs that some of his useful skills were wasting away because he was spending so much time in alt.bigfoot.research.

"I really started to feel good about myself," Pete said. "I was getting more and more excited about coming in to work every day. I think I even startled one lady because I said 'good afternoon!' to her on my way back from the bathroom. I was becoming somebody that you didn't mess with in the alt.bigfoot arena as a result of all my diligent study of all the information on the Internet concerning sasquatch. People in the newsgroup were starting to accept the things that I said because I said them. It was an incredible rush. I had never felt that way before in my life. And when I realized that my skills were essentially wasting away I was like, 'oh my god, I don't want to fail, I just don't want to work!'"

Well, Pete, you're on your way. It seems like you've got the English skills you need, and a respectable start to an illustrious career as a creator of funny illustrations. And hey, don't let it get you down if not everybody believes you at first about that Yeti business. Dr. Jane Goodall, whose credentials are hardly in doubt, said on NPR in 2002, "I'm sure that they exist!"